Therefore, shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be one flesh – Genesis 2:24
We want everything instant: instant gratification thanks to social media, instant meals, instant delivery, instant communication, instant money, instant friendships, instant pictures, and instant marriages, which leads me to reference a television show that features couples paired together by experts, then their first meeting, is on their wedding day, attended by family, friends, and a camera crew. Next, the couple attempts to love and accept each other from that point forward. This process begins in reverse, and some may say that it is already too late.
Singleness and marriage are both blessings; however, the transition from singleness to marriage should not to be taken lightly. The focus of the process should be prayers for your heart to change to be like Christ, as it will take a heart like Christ to maintain a marriage. Humility, forgiveness, openness, trustworthiness, unconditional love, grace, commitment, and protection from evil are all necessary to strengthen your character for probably the most uncertain time in your life.
In the book Adventist Home, chapter 6, the author states, “Those who are contemplating marriage should consider what will be the character and influence of the home they are founding.” “Examine carefully to see if your married life would be happy or harmonious and wretched.” Let the questions be raised; will this union help me heavenward? Will it increase my love for God? “And will it enlarge my sphere of usefulness in this life?” The author then offers encouragement, saying that if those questions have no drawbacks, then move forward in fear of God.
Inspect your character, ask the opinion of your friends and family on how you show up in situations; are you selfish, unpredictable, easily annoyed, dismissive, or unloving? If any of these negative words or others are used to describe your behavior, it is time to take a step back and ask God to transform your character before entering into a relationship. It is not too late for individuals who are already married and struggling with similar words used by their spouse or others to describe their actions to seek God for a heart transformation.
Change is sometimes hard and may require extreme spiritual intervention depending on your circumstances, but God makes every heart better in his perfect will.